Rayan Sammak

August 2020

Non-Plagiarized Tear - by Rayan Sammak (Photo by Adrian Swancar)Photo credit: Adrian Swancar

Non-Plagiarized Tear

By Rayan Sammak

I just came here to express my thoughts that are fragile

I do not apologize for the following information you may not be able to handle

I raise my glass of confidence and proceed to lift my drunken spirit

This is where two pathways collide and form exactly how I feel

I bleed with the same intensity of when I yell out and say: This is life and that is how I live it

I couldn’t help but notice your pain

I couldn’t help but notice you

I couldn’t help but notice

I couldn’t help but

I couldn’t help

I couldn’t

How deep can a word cut through your metaphorical pain

And what about the overexposed heart you’ve been carving for a couple of years

The problem is that you used a knife

When you should’ve been slicing with the sharpest smile you can cry out

My brain knows better than to be a slave to this crooked perspective

Evil has offered me chains to get locked up, yet I have used them to choke myself instead and get

killed, I die helpless and resurrect as my destructive descendant and dispose of danger before it

realizes its disrupted senses are now defenseless

I share DNA with the grave and I’m still able to have room to prosper

These words will break their backs for this author but when it is time to fight and survive, the

syllables will automatically grow up and fix their posture

My body is an instrument of its own

My heartbeat is composed into war drums lead by dead bones on the battlefield of emotions

And every vein is pulled as the strings of the aftermath melody rises to play the music of

beautiful death

And I dare you to listen to that symphony

Listen

I only shoot when my soul has its hands up

Enjoy the mess I made

Good luck knowing who the guilty party was

And when you find them, try explaining to yourself, you are that guilty party

Good luck knowing the question to how much blood you’ve wasted

And good luck knowing what the fuck you are doing on these frontlines

I double dare you to try and find out who the fight is really against

And if you ever thought you really knew

Now find out if that answer truly satisfies your void

Oh, how you want things to be different so you go looking for hope

Well I’ll tell you where that is

Hope is the bum on the street begging for change just like your cause

There will be damage

There will be blood

There will be a lot of people and in between them rotten minds with the intent of dying with

them

Die on your own, dig your own intellect and bury your wisdom with a ‘fuck you’ to toxicity and a

smile for yourself

You deserve it

These are conjured thoughts waiting to be painted on this mural using the blood of my hungry

heart

I fight only with the reflection of my distorted mirror as I proceed to shatter an image just so I

can upgrade it

My self-esteem is a concerned citizen who gladly walks through clean streets filled with snipers

on roofs that only target his precious anxiety

And feels that he may be terrified of the remedy but injects the poison regardless

He calls what makes him stronger death because he firmly believes that what fucking carves you

is the same disturbing element that stitches you back

He says the word “he” because sometimes it’s hard for me to confess

Sometimes we want to take turns

It’s mine now

I speak without a mic

I barely shut my eyes to sleep because I would love to see what a nightmare looks like

And when I say this is as real as it gets, it’s only to sound as raw as I can

This is when you are able to see the smile from my scar

I live from death, so I live to die and when I’m resurrected I die again so am I truly alive

I bet that if I firmly believe in wisdom being my wealth

Then I’ll die so slowly my growth is gonna miss out on death

What a tragedy

I bet all of you wanted to witness me merge with dust and become a casualty

You keep trying to slice my path of a great life but not realizing your souls are all amputees

And that is something you can never reattach


June 2020

Raw - by Rayan Sammak (Photo by Bianca Berg).jpgPhoto credit: Bianca Berg

Raw

By Rayan Sammak

They’re a problem and you just don’t know it

You don’t even want to try

Why the fuck are you even alive

I love you I love you I love you believe me

Believe me, believe yourself, you are fucking worth it

The search is set on a broken map, you’re worth it

Get lost it’s beautiful

Tell the same person who told you to get lost: gladly, I’ll just find myself in a world where you

don’t exist

Find yourself, cause goddamn it you are sexy and beautiful and an intellectual

You’re alive on the inside, take a look, maybe say hi to your soul for a bit, half a cup of black

coffee, hold the sugar

Enjoy your drink with death, it’s nicer than it seems

So go ahead and feel offended just cause I tried helping

You never appreciated it anyways, never asked for anything in return but a little respect, and

kindness

Your highness, I will never bow down

Your highness, you called thyself that only cause you smoked to reach the crown

We never liked the subliminal messages

Mr. false advertisement

Mr. body shaming stinking lousy piece of inconsiderate fuck

Mr. If you don’t have at least a $100 like me, then you never fit in… and all of the above

You’re worse than how a spoiled rich kid views fake designer clothes

I’m kind of bored, always running out of enemies in my life, I might just have to redraw some

foes

I promised not to continue this piece until I was properly medicated, since I started it like that,

but I just couldn’t help my hunger deprivation, I had to satisfy, cause when this stomach growls,

this mind automatically writes limitless lines

My thoughts dispersed between diverse universes

So try and grab one of them

Oh come on give me some credit here

I haven’t boasted in years

So long that I boasted never

I’m telling you I deserve being lyrically clever cause to die and resurrect to getting till this day

just so I can spit my piece and learn some lessons, you gotta be insane with the veins that I sever

And btw if you ever truly cared

Don’t you worry about me cause I’ve been a whole lot stronger

I sewed up my heart in a couple of places

And left it on display

Also, did I ever mention that expectations are fucking murderous

Yeah, no I just wanted to point that out

But I don’t really have to talk about it do I?

I mean you understand that whether your expectations were met or not, they still kill

So don’t, just don’t, don’t put a fucking expectation because you agonized me with it

 

I hate when people criticize the fuck out of you and then they say I won’t continue cause I don’t

want to hurt you

Huh pathetic

Ahh I get it, you’re just a goddamn idiot aren’t you

You can’t even tell yourself that you’re strong and alive

So tell me how the fuck are you gonna teach the sun how to shine

But anyways you can shoot me while my words are speaking

My pen will live, and I’ll die eating

You simply can’t eliminate or disintegrate my ink

Cause my thoughts build up best from fragments

In fact, that’s the only way they form

That’s the way I was born

Mural painted as if Salvador Dali had a baby with Basquiat as their brains created a storm, I stab

you straight with words from my magical horn

A surreal influential poetic masterpiece

I illustrate prolific army stripes and blood on fists

Only to remember that day and onwards I take hits better than a marine’s endurance levels

My syllables will live longer than waiting for stored honey to get spoiled

I never had writer’s block and I never will

I have too much to say and a lot of feelings to spill

Instead I have a block where I set the writers on

Chop them up and fulfill my starvation of writing them off

My rawness in my thoughts will be so pure, the most religious person who cured themselves of

all their sins shall feel jealous

I’ll flirt with death and fuck with love

I’ll intricately draw a blueprint that represents the mighty schemes of how to draw a Find Muck

blueprint

My shoes may be tinted but these souls that live inside me are darker than the feeling of

emptiness

Yet regardless I still carry vigor and strapped muscle better than the perfect strongest shield

taking hits from an expert swordsman

No scratch that

Better than the overconfidence of the most self-centered person on Earth

No scratch that

Better than finding order in chaos

No scratch that

Better than the sound of a flower growing from pain

No scratch that

Better than the power of my decibels saying better than

So salute to strength and wisdom

I never saw them until now so I don’t really miss them

But I definitely earned my badges

By welcoming an energy that is savage

Don’t wait for me I will never vanish

Growth from the mighty wolves, I now mentally live lavish


April 2020

Louder Than I Thought - by Rayan Sammak (Photo by Lawrson Pinson).jpgPhoto credit: Lawrson Pinson

Louder Than I Thought

By Rayan Sammak

I could’ve never figured it out

Neither could they

I breathe the wind that decays

And speak the language that’s dead

Or dying

And the truth might be lying about itself

And everybody listens to the wrong voices

My loud sound can be spoken in different decibels of silence 

And no there’s no way of telling which path I might choose to attack your soul

Cause that is my main target

Guaranteed that I will harm it

I spar with every single heart that you’ve harmed

And maybe then we’ll decide who’s best at being carved

I starve for this

Believe the hunger not the appetite

I’m glad I fight

Choked by the wire of my mic

I hate it, but it’s fine

The rhymes never make it on time for dinner

So I gotta cook the syllables earlier

They don’t even pay attention anymore 

I might be broken I don’t know

But surely if I am, I’d fix myself instantly with the words I learned

And with the wisdom I’ve earned

Enough of that for now

I did not hide away from my frown

I got it to not appear in the meantime of my growth

I cry a lot, but my tears never needed stitches 

Happiness is heavier than I thought

I met up with happiness many times but each time it would ask me out on a date, Sadness would

jump in and yell out: you’re out of my league

Because sadness became my mother tongue

I never liked hope

Neither did the smile of a clown

The only artifact that will vanish is the crown

Nobody is royalty 

Try and build this thing you call a castle

My house is better with one aspect 

It is home

And you can never beat the heart that is beaten and now only knows how to reply with a beating

My language is street and you can hear the gang wars making peace from the corner store

My life will look at your spirit and attempt to walk on the core of a war

I fell from hell, but the angels are waiting from the bottom floor

I think it’s finally time to draw walls for the evil 

And color it with fruitful shade

The dark might die from the love hate relationship I have with it

But only rotten emotions can be felt

And dirty words can be tasted from clean soil

And to living I am loyal

I used to write about death, now I’m only concerned to live

Only because I handle my failures way better than I ever handle success

And when I choose to cut myself

I’m only letting things off my chest

You bet you can get offended 

Your image is that of a hybrid lie and the act of media rebranding 

So you can take your dead character, see if you still wanna defend it

You never guessed the half of my schemes built by a mind where inside the ideas tick as if

machinery dominated and my elements concentrated on armory charmed by poisonous alchemy

actually innovated the chemistry that was never basic, you couldn’t live in between this wreck of

a matrix because if your vocal chords are silent then we only allow yelling out in these spaces!

Amazement from penmanship formed from intensive hatred 

And even my evil opinions wouldn’t ever be debated

Put your medication to the test and best believe my disease born from this seed is definitely

twice as potent and heavily dedicated 

There will never be a “best”, so I am not the greatest 

But since you only look at the stereotype, I’ll work silently and let my success shine because

what’s better than great is being greater

I reek of influential savagery, smell me now or never but that will forever be my favorite

fragrance 

But I never settled the burnt kettle, I’m still cooking with high fires and the devil in me is gentle 

The weight on my soul is heavier but only because I am no longer an empty vessel

You can hear me quite clearly, I could be saying nothing, and you’d still feel, I am a mixture of

several instrumentals 

My success can rise without your fake thank you, I don’t need a medal

Simply into lyrical bursting, I’m flirting with kind murdering, swerving from light but darkness

to strength is what I’m converting 

Listen well but are you learning

Disturbing stopped becoming concerning

I don’t have a resume

Forget your lousy jobs

I’ve scared fear away

You make me pile up boxes in an office

I’ll make you pile up offices 

My flavor is stronger 

Taste it if bitterness is sweet to your tongue

This is the music that should’ve been sung in my death

But I only heard it when my growth had begun


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